How to Set Goals that Work
80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February, according to research. Pretty sobering, huh? Are we just terrible at sticking to our goals?
I would argue, no. We aren’t the problem--it’s the way we’re setting up these goals. Here’s how to do it so that you set yourself up for success:
1. Find the emotional intention. For every tangible goal, there is a deeper meaning behind it. This underlying intention is tied to our emotions, which motivate behavior much more than logic does (advertisers understand this well--ever seen a superbowl ad that made you cry?) Here are some examples of emotional intentions:
“I want to lose 15 pounds” → It’s going to feel amazing to look in the mirror and see that I’ve reclaimed personal power, and a healthier relationship with food.
“I will earn more money” → It’ll be so freeing to say YES to new experiences without having to worry about the cost.
2. Set small action steps. Goals are achieved through tiny, realistic habits. Start with behaviors that are so easy, you KNOW you can get them done each day. This builds confidence, as it reinforces trust in your ability to change. For example:
Add one non-starchy vegetable to your breakfast each day.
Meditate for two minutes before bed.
Do 5 air squats in the morning.
Do these for 7 days, then increase slowly until you start to see the changes you’re looking for. I highly recommend reading James Clear’s Atomic Habits to learn more about the psychology behind small action steps.
3. Anticipate and solve for struggles. When you first start working toward a goal, you’re bright eyed & bushy tailed. Full of hope, the beginning stage can be quite fun! But inevitably, life will get in the way. Some conflict will arise that tempts you to give up. The time to solve for this conflict is before it happens, when you’re still in the high energy, excited, beginning phase. For example:
I have a work deadline in two weeks and I know I’ll be too busy to cook. I’ll make a list of healthy restaurants I can rely on for takeout, and I’ll pre-cook some vegetables to supplement.
I’m visiting my family and I know I’ll be indulging a bit more than usual. I’ll plan a healthy breakfast so I know at least one meal each day is in line with my goals.
4. Set up accountability. This one is CRITICAL. Research by the Association for Talent Development shows that you have a 95% chance of meeting your goal if you have an ongoing appointment with an accountability partner. That’s a pretty big improvement over the measly 20% success rate when you go it alone! Humans are social beings, and the desire to do right by your fellow tribe member is highly motivating. So find a friend, family member, or a trusted coach, and get some regular checkins on your calendar.